Malformation, by Nicola Bray (Australia, 2023), explores themes around AVM-related stroke, medical and physical disability, and the process of recovery as experienced by teenagers. The film takes a patient, observational approach, offering quiet moments that reflect on change, resilience and the practical realities of adapting to a new body. It does not shy away from difficult questions, yet remains grounded and humane. Malformation sits within the Focus on Ability festival as a sensitive contribution that highlights the abilities and everyday achievements of young people with disability, and invites audiences to listen, learn and consider different pathways through recovery.
Tell me exactly what's happened. My daughter, I've just got a call that she's not breathing. How old is she? She's 17. What made you aware that she was in this condition? She was, she sort of screamed. Sorry, you're on speaker. Alright. Okay. Okay. Yeah, that's her. Okay. Yeah. Right. Okay. What's her first name? All in all, just carefree, no worries really. I was that girl. On the 30th of November, we had a family outing in the afternoon. That night I got ready for bed and that's all I remember until the middle of December. I was put into a coma for two weeks. During and after, I experienced ICU delirium, a phenomenon which is found in long-term ICU patients due to the heavy medication. I hallucinated that people were trying to kill me even after I was more aware physically because of the AVM. I had weakness in my left side and nonexistent movement on my right side. This meant that the first time I sat up, I got dizzy and was even nauseous as an outcome. Because I couldn't walk, the hospital staff needed to arrange a mechanical sling to transport me to my wheelchair. I had a craniotomy, which meant that from December until late February, half my skull had been taken out. And so I needed a helmet to ensure that I didn't damage my brain while I was recovering from swelling. When I got home, I faced more challenges. I didn't want to go out in public or socialise due to my shaved head and the big scar on my throat, which was visible to anyone who looked at me. Not to mention the fact that I had no idea how to interact with anyone my age because I spent the last chunk of my life only interacting with people significantly older than me. But eventually I got through it. And it wasn't as bad as I had originally thought. I've developed more composite dents since the AVM due to surviving against the odds. I was nothing special. I was just a normal 17-year-old girl. Now I'm choosing to share my story so I can make a positive impact around the world.
Filmmaker
Nicola Bray is the filmmaker behind this entry.
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Nicola Bray.
