About this Short Film
Running with Helen, a 2020 short from UK filmmaker Kate Charter, sits naturally within the Focus on Ability programme. The film looks at running, physical disability and motivation in a group setting, and touches on medical disability, including MS. It considers what sport and movement can mean for young adults and adults negotiating mobility and identity. Charter’s camera gives space to small moments of effort, camaraderie and resolve, offering viewers a clear, humane view of ability in action. A concise and empathetic piece, it will appeal to audiences interested in adaptive sport and everyday resilience.
Film Details
Film Transcript
Four years ago I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I was pretty ill for a little while; I couldn't walk really very well at all and it was terrifying.
Messages travel along nerves in the brain. In MS, the immune system attacks a protective layer around the nerve, slowing down messages which causes people to feel symptoms. Repeated attacks can eventually cause damage to the nerve. This causes permanent disability. The scars caused by these attacks can be seen on an MRI scan. Different symptoms appear depending on where scars form in the brain. Attacks are unpredictable and different for everyone diagnosed.
I started to run again as soon as I possibly could. Most of the time it makes me feel proactive, like I'm doing something about it.
Sometimes it can come into my thoughts as a real kind of excuse for feeling a bit; it worries me, and again it's confusing because I don't know which bit is MS, actually which bits are just me being lazy. It's really difficult not to think about what you could once; it's very hard not to get kind of frustrated and angry at the kind of injustice, almost.
I've definitely had more falls but I still go, and when I don't go I feel horrible; I feel like I'm letting it win. My running time was time to reflect on what was happening to my body — every niggle that I had, trying to label some as Helen and some as me, just normal.
I called my MS Helen because I didn't want her to be a part of me. Having her as a separate thing is something that helps me stay who I was before. What she does, I'm not in control of. When I was diagnosed, it was 97. I just thought, "Well, that's going to be me in a wheelchair in five years." That's what I thought.
I think the human condition is always to fear the worst. We're all broken in lots of different ways, I guess; you don't know what's around the corner. I think once I actually get running I'm just a runner and I'm no different from any other runner. No, it's gone — making the most of life is individual to you; it hasn't changed who I am. You can't get away from the fact that it's there, but it doesn't have to stop here. I know that everyone's different, but don't stop doing stuff because you've got this label hung around your neck. I think it's really important to understand that there isn't necessarily a limit to what you can achieve.
I suppose I'm using running as a way to take stock of where I'm at, what our relationship is following me. We run well together most of the time and when the view is good I don't think about her; I just think about how lucky I am to be outside, able to run still. And then I try not to think about the next bit, which is for now, you know, not forever.
Filmmaker
Kate Charter is the filmmaker behind this entry. View their profile or browse all their films in the search.