Mikey: Still Standing (Focus on the Art), directed by Matthew Gordon, is a 2023 Australian short included in the Focus on Ability International Short Film Festival. While the film's specific narrative is kept lean, it sits firmly among works that highlight ability, achievement and creative practice. Viewers can expect a thoughtful look at themes such as art, anxiety, motivation and the lived realities of adults with medical and physical disability, including wheelchair use. Presented in a respectful and human way, this piece contributes to our program by offering a perspective on perseverance and expression, and invites audiences to consider the many ways people make meaning through art.
At first I thought I'd lost my identity, I can't paint, I can't drive, I can't walk, I can't do anything. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know where I was going. I wasn't my favourite thing. I questioned everything. Was it because I called that kid a name in school? Was it because I was told to do so as a kid? Was it because I wrote my name on everyone's property when I was younger? I try and rationalise why life has done this to you, but it's not that life has done it to me, it's just an injury, it's not karma. I've been getting misdiagnosed with chronic compartment syndrome in my arm because my arm was always swelling, my hands were always clawed up and they thought I had rheumatoid arthritis and I was on all these arthritis drugs. Not knowing that my arms and my legs were connected, everything was connected to this fracture in my neck. I didn't realise how much pain I was in. This is where I'm at at the moment man, you know, but I'm in good spirits, you know, I was crying because I had no shoes and I met a man who had no feet. Suddenly all the distractions go on, shit, who am I? How do I treat people? How do I want to be treated? How do I want to treat myself? All come into perspective and I really had a lot of time to sit with it all. The universe is still looking after me man. You have this now where you're forced to be in the present, you're forced to think about your injury. And so if I try to look forward and I go, when is this injury going to be over, when am I going to be walking again, rah, rah, rah, and I try to look forward and it scares the shit out of me because I can't see the deadline on this. I'm so used to working the deadlines and projects getting finished. Now I'm the project. Now I'm the mural that I'm working on and I can't see the end of it and it scares me. My artwork, it reflects what I want. I want happiness. I want smiles. I want colours. I want joy. I want excitement. I want excitement. In my artwork, I've always tried to portray that. A lot of people see that and they assume that he's doing great in life because look at what he's produced and putting out. There's no pain in it at all, you know. But they don't see that. I'm in a lot of pain. I'm having a lot of mental health issues. It's like that Robin Williams smile all the time and there's nothing wrong with him because he's happy. I know Michael, you're doing really well now so you guys are going to get to the corner aren't you? Yeah, I'm really happy. He's really good. He really does the work. Yeah, I'm going to do a lot of art. I'm going to do a lot of art. We're going to do a lot of art. It's like that Robin Williams smile all the time and there's nothing wrong with him because he's happy. I know Michael, you're doing really well now so you guys are going to get to the corner aren't you? Yeah, I want to get to the stage where I can come and sit here face to face again, you know. You guys are great. I was scared of cooties and fines. I just became scared of people and the world and it just developed into agoraphobia where I couldn't leave the house. No, it's just hard to do it. My heart was racing. I knew it was ridiculous but I couldn't help it. I'm not afraid of anything. I'm not scared of anybody except God. I don't fear God and I don't fear anything. I don't fear anything. I started praying every day for strength and courage. God doesn't give you strength and courage. He gives you the opportunity to be strong and courageous. I love my angels that I've got around me. I wouldn't have done it without them and they know who they are. That's where I start to look forward is when I look back and I see that, you know what, two weeks ago I couldn't lift my foot that high, a month ago I couldn't swing my leg through, you know. Six months ago I couldn't even stand. And so if I look back to see how far I've come, it gives me a perspective of how well I'm doing. And I feel a real sense of achievement and that gives me a feeling of there is something to look forward to. And that's where I start to look forward is when I look back and I see that, you know, two weeks ago I couldn't lift my foot that high, a month ago I couldn't swing my leg
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Mikey: Still Standing (Focus on the Art) by Matthew Gordon (2023)
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