What it's like to be me

About this Short Film

What it's like to be me (Nathan Tessman, Australia, 2023) offers a vivid look at themes of independence, achievement and daily life with spinal muscular atrophy. Through moments of activity, including football and skateboarding, and the realities of using a wheelchair, the film highlights individual motivation, muscles and physical ability. It finds its place in the Focus on Ability International Short Film Festival as a film that celebrates skill and choice while prompting reflection on access and support. Calm, direct and honest, it will appeal to audiences interested in personal stories of determination and the many ways people shape their own independence.

Film Details

Country: Australia
Festival Year: 2023
Filmmaker: Nathan Tessman

Film Transcript

My name is Nathan Tessman and this is my story. I was born in the year of 1994 with the condition of spinal muscular atrophy with respiratory distress. But the interesting part was I wasn't diagnosed with that condition until I hit the age of 20. Doctors put me in the category of giant axonal neuropathy because that's what they thought I had. So the way that my condition works is a muscular progressive condition. So over time my muscles slowly get weaker and weaker as I get older. So my whole body is quite weak and along with that my back muscles are very weak. And because of that I have a lordosis and what that means is my back actually bends inwards because the back muscles don't have enough strength to support myself. And ever since having this condition the one thing that's always going on in my mind is that I want to prove to people that I can do something even when they say that I can't do it. As I was growing up I always thought that my condition was some sort of slight sickness that would eventually go away and it wasn't until I was quite older that I actually had to accept my situation and learn to work in the environment that I was living in with the barriers that were in front of me. And one day I managed to discover that I could actually ride on a skateboard and that's when my whole life practically changed. I found this love for being able to go as fast as I possibly can. It felt like running to me. Being able to move my arms as fast as I possibly could, feeling the muscles burning, you know working, aching, all that. It was a glorious feeling to me. And with the ability to skate came this amazing opportunity for myself where I was able to compete in two triathlons that were specifically for people with disabilities. We had a 100m swim, we had a 3k bike ride and a 500m run. And to be able to put in the hard work to train and do these events and be cheered on which was something that I've always wanted to just be cheered on by my family and friends was something just absolutely incredible. When I was growing up I absolutely loved rugby league and since I couldn't play rugby league one of the amazing opportunities that I managed to find for myself was playing power chair football. To be able to score goals and set up goals, battle for the ball. It's a very tough sport but it gives me that challenge that I need to better myself every year to try and take on the best players in the sport. You know growing up when you're always told by doctors that this is going to get weaker, you're going to struggle with this. I've always lived with the mindset that I want to show that I can do the things that a lot of people say that I can't. Whether it be swimming, laps and trying to train myself to be able to hold my breath for as long as I can seeing as with my condition there is a respiratory part that can affect me. Or just as simple as showing that I can climb up a set of stairs. Yes it might take me a fair while but I will show you that I can get up there and I can get down. Or even just shooting hoops at a basketball court. One of the biggest achievements that I ever did in my life was back in 2016 I asked my mum whether or not she would be willing to help me to look for the possibility that I might be able to move out of home. I managed to achieve this dream back in 2018. The hard thing about that year was the NDIS wasn't around on the Sunshine Coast at that time so I had hardly any support so I had to figure out ways on how I can take care of myself without any assistance. Skills like putting clothes on myself. Or showering myself. The message I wanted to convey in this video was basically any person who does have a disability there's more to them than that condition. I don't know what my condition has in store for me for the future but I know for a fact that I will always jump head first into any challenge that is placed in front of me. I hope this story inspires you to take on any challenges or barriers you might be facing or you may face in the future and prove to yourself and everyone else that nothing can hold you back in your life. Thanks for watching my story.

Filmmaker

Nathan Tessman is the filmmaker behind this entry. Filmmaker profile pages are coming soon — in the meantime you can browse all their films in the search.

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